party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Your dad touched me again.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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