On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
