I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
