You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Actions speak louder than pants.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
