Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
