I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
