Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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