nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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