so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
