Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
