I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
