I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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