I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
