She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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