Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
