Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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