I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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