I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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