I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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