Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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