so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
