Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I have already put on my inside pants.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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