Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
