Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
She said her name was "party"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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