You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
