After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
