You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
