Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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