I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
