3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
grandma shit on top of the toilet
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
