so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
