Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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