Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
