Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
