You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
