She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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