I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
