I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
