are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
