I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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