too bad you live with your parents still
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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