I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
