You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just tell him i said nine months
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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