And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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