some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
