I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
