Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
