duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
