butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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