I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
