How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
