I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
